Daydreaming in Heaven
by Caradryan
Summary: A collection of diary entries from Euphemia's perspective as she observes Suzaku and the world with interest. Post R1, taking place in R2. EuphiexSuzaku. Not quite AU, but show degree of satire and medium awareness.


Dear Diary.

I am a little disappointed.

You would think that as the Third Princess of Britannia (and a somewhat popular character, too, if Sunrise's "Online Polls" are to be trusted), I should be rightfully entitled to one of those nice little PVC figurines that Sunrise had been pumping out like no tomorrow in an attempt to "carry out divine will", right?

(Speaking of which, the Suzaku one is really pretty – fairly close to the actual thing, too! I have one of him sitting on my windowsill at this very moment, and he's standing right next to Lelouch. Heehee~)

Well, it's been a year, and I have yet to see anything. To make things worse, it is terribly, terribly lonely up here in heaven. I haven't seen anyone here other than General Darlton and Big Brother Clovis. (Which is good, I guess. That means no one's died yet – and as much as I'd like to see the others again, I really don't want anyone to die…)

The latter of the two is more interested in manipulating the flows of a certain imageboard… I worry about him on occasions. I really do. Please, pray for him. He really shouldn't be online all the time…

* * *

Dear Diary.

Helped out the maids with housework today – feel woefully incompetent and spoiled. Think I might have broken big brother's window by accident.

Why am I so incompetent? I mean, this makes no sense! If I could pilot giant robots, snap a troubled-but-cute ace out of his chronic depression, and write a treatise on how to run a country (which would have worked, too, if it weren't for poor Lelouch…), you would think that I could cook and clean and be …I don't know, a little more domestic?

I mean, which one's easier to pick up, anyways? Running amok on a battlefield dodging bullets or learning to operate a simple dish-washing device? I am going to say the latter. Have you thought about what happens afterwards? In times of peace, the focus is no longer on how many big floating battleships you could shoot down or how many countries you could take over, but rather –

Uh, oh. I think big brother's noticed...

I see that even in this, I have much to learn… I shall strive to break out of the stereotypical princess mold! This I swear! I, Euphemia li Britannia, changer of the world, shall -

I, I just heard a crash downstairs.

Urk. Hold on. I shall finish at another time. That could _not_ have been the dishes…

* * *

Dear Diary.

Had a talk with Big Brother Clovis in regards to yesterday's events. Unless there is someone experienced in such matters present with me in my attempt to assist the kitchen staff, I am to stay away from the dishwasher. Also, vacuum cleaners are explicitly _verboten_, along with the lawn mower and trimmers.

Is a little saddened by Big Brother Clovis' behavior. I do not appreciate him treating me like a small child.

General Darlton showed up today with a delicious tuna casserole. Poor Darlton. No wonder Big Sister trusts him so much. He may look like a huge meanie, but he is really soft and cuddly underneath. I think he's finally warmed up to me!

And, I take what I said a few days back! There are others who are much more deserving of action figures… like General Darlton! Despite serving Britannia for thirty-some years, he was somehow taken out by a seventeen-year-old with no prior experience in piloting. I think I'm beginning to get why he's feeling a bit grumpy at all times. He gets almost no screen-time, no special cameos or treatment at all, and all the fans out there hate him for standing against Lelouch…

As much as I sympathize with Lelouch, and admire him in so many ways, I cannot say I approve of some of his fan's behaviors. Though, I do find the constant guessing to be amusing. Honestly, I think we could have done an amazing story without the robots and intrigue and drama and love quadangles (pentagle? What would you call a multi-pronged, multi-sided romance relationship that do not take a constant shape and changes all the time?)

Either way, goal for the week: pressure Sunrise into making a General Darlton action figure.

Until next time!

* * *

Dear Diary.

I have a question.

If Suzaku-kun's Lancelot is so powerful, why don't they make more? I mean, you would think that with the world's supply of Sakuradite, and Big Brother Schneizel's military budget…

Oh, I know. They do have the "Vincent," (which, by the way, is a pretty little thing. I wonder how it would look in pink and white? Teehee. I personally would not mind having one myself to play with.) which is supposedly a mass-produced version of the Lancelot. The problem Is that Suzaku-kun's Lancelot has the ability to clean up entire armies, and Vincent? Not really.

So, then, why would you spend millions and millions on less-than-optimal machines than having a few that are, you know, actually useful? I mean, for peace-keeping we have the Glasgow and Sutherland frames…

See, general sequence of combat, as far as I could tell, goes something like this.

Faceless guys: Nippon BANZAI!/FOR THE E.U!/Whatever else they happen to be yelling at the moment.

That's it. They get in one line. And then…

Suzaku-kun: "Some kind of special awesome attack!"

Little radar screen: Lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost.

Suzaku-kun does awesome pose.

Siiiiiiigh. Before I get a nosebleed from thinking about it, I think I shall stop here.

* * *

Dear Diary:

Ran into two of the Glaston Knights (Darlton's adopted sons?) while taking a walk in the garden today. They seemed rather disgruntled at the fact that Lelouch- oops, I mean, Zero, pulled the collapsing stage trick again. Told them that showing their face instead of wearing a protective visor will probably increase their odds of survival, but the two didn't seem to understand. Oh, well. Will stress this point at dinner tonight.

Also! Gino's fangirls, nice try, but from personal experience, I am certain Suzaku-kun is straight. Seducing him with a fifteen-year-old cute pink-haired Lolita is probably more likely to -

Actually…

Aw, oh no. Sunrise, you vile, despicable…

Anya Alstreim…get_ away_ from my knight!

* * *

Dear Diary:

Someone is moving in the room two floors down, and I'm a little frightened. Whoever it is, he/she's luggage consists entirely of Cornelia-related memorabilia. That being said, however, I didn't know that big sister had her own collectible crockery set... It's missing a plate, too – I wonder where it could have disappeared to?

Anyways, General Darlton came by earlier and told me not to worry, and that he'll take care of everything, so I suppose that's that. I have some other business to take care of, so …

Until next time!

P.S. I noticed General Darlton sneaking a Cornelia-clock and a couple of posters into his coat when he thought I wasn't looking. Hmph, taking care of everything, indeed…

* * *

Author's note: Nothing else much to add, except that I had trouble narrowing down Euphie's speech pattern. While she refers to Cornelia as Onee-sama, Clovis as Clovis Nee(sp?)-san, and Suzaku as either directly Suzaku or Suzaku-kun (when they're alone), I have trouble transferring them directly into English. As such, they'll probably stay big brother/big sister/Suzaku-kun until further notice.

The purpose of this fic is to mercilessly lampshade R2's plotting issues and then switching over to a third-person-narrative-dating sim if it ever gets that far. In other words, what Code Geass _could_ have been.


End file.
